"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Mom said you looked used
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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