apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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