I hate your face
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
one might say we're banned from that church
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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