Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
