i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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