I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
