We're facebook friends in real life
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
