I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
