Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
