So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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