They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
