This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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