She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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