Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
