if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
