Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
