i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
