i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
