she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
