Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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