So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize