5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think people are normalizing furries
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
