I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize