hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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