just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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