Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
