Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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