I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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