There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
