You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
