I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
