I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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