Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
