Sry I called you an 8
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
