I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
