Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
