Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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