Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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