I'm so fucking centered right now
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
