guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
