I wish my penis had an off switch
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Randomize
