I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Bring me that man meat
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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