We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
