There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im having a threesome with these popsicles
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
