My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
