Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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