He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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