I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My pussy is not your playground.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
