I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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