So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
